Car 54, Where Are You?

Overview

The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the day or messes things up, much to the chagrin of Muldoon, the tall, lanky and smart one.

Episodes

Who's for Swordfish?

S01E01 Who's for Swordfish?

September 17, 1961 30 min
In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?
Something Nice for Sol

S01E02 Something Nice for Sol

September 24, 1961 30 min
Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists...
Home Sweet Sing Sing

S01E03 Home Sweet Sing Sing

October 1, 1961 30 min
The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.
Change Your Partner

S01E04 Change Your Partner

October 8, 1961 7.0 30 min
Toody and Muldoon's 9 blissful years as partners stun a researcher who finds the average prowl car pair last only 16 months before screaming to be switched. If the NYPD management engineer can discover their...
I Won't Go

S01E05 I Won't Go

October 15, 1961 30 min
Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.
Muldoon's Star

S01E06 Muldoon's Star

October 22, 1961 30 min
Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.
The Paint Job

S01E07 The Paint Job

October 29, 1961 30 min
A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved...
Love Finds Muldoon

S01E08 Love Finds Muldoon

November 5, 1961 30 min
Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.
The Gypsy Curse

S01E09 The Gypsy Curse

November 12, 1961 30 min
The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.
Thirty Days Notice

S01E10 Thirty Days Notice

November 19, 1961 30 min
Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.
Catch Me on the Paar Show

S01E11 Catch Me on the Paar Show

November 26, 1961 30 min
After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.
The Taming of Lucille

S01E12 The Taming of Lucille

December 3, 1961 30 min
Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."
Put It in the Bank

S01E13 Put It in the Bank

December 10, 1961 30 min
The 53rd Precinct's Brotherhood Club's newly elected treasurer Gunther Toody is determined to invest their hard-earned $800 in the stock market despite the protests of his fiscally conservative colleagues.
Get Well, Officer Schnauser

S01E14 Get Well, Officer Schnauser

December 17, 1961 30 min
While Schnauser is laid up in the hospital, Toody is tapped by the FBI to go undercover to help them nab notorious bank robber "No Face."
Christmas at the 53rd

S01E15 Christmas at the 53rd

December 24, 1961 8.0 30 min
The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.
The Sacrifice

S01E16 The Sacrifice

January 7, 1962 30 min
Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.
Boom, Boom, Boom

S01E17 Boom, Boom, Boom

January 14, 1962 30 min
The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.
Toody & Muldoon Crack Down

S01E18 Toody & Muldoon Crack Down

January 21, 1962 30 min
After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.
Toody's Paradise

S01E19 Toody's Paradise

January 28, 1962 30 min
Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.
How High Is Up?

S01E20 How High Is Up?

February 4, 1962 30 min
Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.
Toody and the Art World

S01E21 Toody and the Art World

February 11, 1962 30 min
Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.
What Happened to Thursday?

S01E22 What Happened to Thursday?

February 18, 1962 30 min
The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious...
How Smart Can You Get?

S01E23 How Smart Can You Get?

February 25, 1962 30 min
The smartest rookie cop is assigned to ride w/chatty Toody & reticent Muldoon. Can Car 54 survive, now that Muldoon has stimulating conversation?
Today I Am a Man

S01E24 Today I Am a Man

March 4, 1962 30 min
Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family...
No More Pickpockets

S01E25 No More Pickpockets

March 11, 1962 30 min
The boys go under cover at Yankee Stadium to stem the onslaught of pickpockets. One skilled pilferer turns the tide on Toody; who ends up arrested?
The Beast Who Walked the Bronx

S01E26 The Beast Who Walked the Bronx

March 18, 1962 30 min
Burkholtz, relegated to the Lost & Found for 15 years due to his extreme laxity is the only choice to sub for Capt. Block on his forced two week vacation. The boys mistake his absence...
The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser

S01E27 The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser

March 25, 1962 30 min
Leo and Sylvia Schnauser decide to renew their vows with a large wedding ceremony.
The Auction

S01E28 The Auction

April 1, 1962 30 min
The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.
Quiet! We're Thinking

S01E29 Quiet! We're Thinking

April 8, 1962 30 min
Gunther and Lucille's 11-year-old nephew Marvin, in the Big Apple for a Boy Scout event, helps Toody and Muldoon crack the cases that have flummoxed New York's Finest.
I Love Lucille

S01E30 I Love Lucille

April 22, 1962 30 min
Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.

Cast

Fred Gwynne
Fred Gwynne
Officer Francis Muldoon
Joe E. Ross
Joe E. Ross
Officer Gunther Toody
Al Lewis
Al Lewis
Officer Leo Schnauser
Paul Reed
Captain Paul Block

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